How to Ask Bridesmaids to be in Your Wedding (2024)

There’s an insane amount of excitement after the question has been popped and you’ve said “yes.” But, after a few weeks (or days?), that excitement begins to wane and the to-do list begins to overwhelm your every waking thought.

Some things on that to-do list are more important than others, though. Like the friends and family members you’ll have standing alongside you on the most important day of your life. You know who you want on your team. Now all you have to do is invite them to join.

Are you wondering how to ask bridesmaids to be in your wedding? And not just to ask them, but to make it a meaningful and memorable moment for each of you.

Well, you’re not alone. Here’s a look at 3 approaches you can choose when wondering how to ask bridesmaids to be a part of your big day.

1) Send Them Something Customized

We’re living in a highly customizable world, and those customization options even extend to gifts perfect for proposing to your bridesmaids. You can choose an item that holds special meaning in your relationships with your prospective bridesmaids, or you can pick one that just seems fun. Your options include:

Wine or Champagne Labels: You can quickly, easily and affordablybuy awine or champagne and add a “Will you be my bridesmaid?”customized label. The quality of the wine or champagne is often a function of how much you want to spend — but keep in mind that the bottle will likely serve more as a keepsake that’s never opened.

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Puzzles: Here’s something unique: Create a custom puzzle that, once assembled, spells out a message inviting the assembler to be your bridesmaid. This is a fun, quirky and unexpected way to handle asking friends and family to serve as bridesmaids, but maybe that’s exactly what you’re looking for?

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Jewelry Boxes: Add aphoto or acustom card to a jewelry box, and stash a customized necklace or bracelet inside. Not only does this make a great way to ask bridesmaids to join your wedding part, it also gives them something they can use long into the future.

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Picture Frames: Picture frames are a great way to blend a customized gift with a meaningful memento. Find a great picture with each of your bridesmaids, and then place inside a frame that includes an invitation message. Again, this is something that will last your bridesmaids well beyond the wedding day.

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Fortune Cookies: This one is fun: Write out your invitation to be a bridesmaid, and then have it printed and placed inside a fortune cookie. You could even pair this with a fun night out with your future bridesmaids, sharing the fortune cookies as an after-dinner surprise.

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2) Make Something Yourself

    Are you the artsy and creative type? Or, are you just feeling artsy and creative at the moment? Remember that there’s something extra meaningful about items that are handmade, so don’t be shy about making your own invitation for bridesmaids. Here are a few options:

    Cookies, Cakes or Other Pastries: If you’re at all good at baking, you can make your favorite treat and then use the icing on top to ask prospective bridesmaids to join the party. Of course, this gets a little bit tougher if your invitees are out of town, but it gives them something to enjoy along with your ask.

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    Friendship Bracelets: Bring back something old school by creating a friendship bracelet with letter beads that spell out your question: “Will you be my bridesmaid?” Or, if space is limited, just “Bridesmaid?” It’s a fun and creative way to ask the question, and the friends and family you ask will appreciate the time, effort and thought you put into it.

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    Cards: There’s nothing quite like a handmade card. Use anything you like to create your card, but don’t forget the most important part: Add a meaningful, from-the-heart message inside. There are few moments in life when we get to share with the people we love just how much they mean to us. Use this opportunity as one of those moments.

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    3) Take Them Out

    If most of your bridesmaids-to-be live in the immediate area, why not plan a fun outing for everyone? Here’s a look at a few different activities you can plan, as well as how you can ask during each:

    Brunches: Make a reservation for a big table at your favorite restaurant. Then, after a mid-morning’s worth of amazing food and a few drinks, propose a champagne toast — that includes personalized champagne flutes for each of your prospective bridesmaids.

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    Mani-Pedis: You can now order personalized nail polish on which you can customize the label. Choose a wedding color, or pick out a different shade for each of your bridesmaids. And then share the personalized nail polish at the outset of your mani-pedi outing.

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    Spa Days: Who doesn’t like a nice spa day? Get your girls together for some all-important rest and relaxation, and then gift them each a personalized robe or facemask upon arrival.

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    Final Thoughts on How to Ask Bridesmaids to be in Your Wedding

    A phone call (and certainly a text message) just won’t do. When it’s time to ask bridesmaids to invest the time, money and energy into helping you celebrate your big day, you need to do something meaningful.

    Just make sure you stay true to yourself and to your friendships and relationships. If making something doesn’t feel like you, try something else. If sending a customize product doesn’t seem right, go another direction.

    As you can see above, there is no shortage of different ways to approach how to ask bridesmaids to be in your wedding. Pick the one that feels most natural, and have as much fun as possible inviting your favorite women to be a part of your big day.

    Check out our complete collection of Will You Be My Bridesmaid Gifts.

    How to Ask Bridesmaids to be in Your Wedding (2024)

    FAQs

    When should you ask your bridesmaids to be in your wedding? ›

    Rule Of Thumb. The best rule is to ask your friends and family members to be your bridesmaids anywhere between a year to eight months before your wedding. That will give them enough time to plan the bachelorette party and get their dresses. Any less time may not be enough for them to be able to make the commitment.

    What do you write when asking bridesmaids? ›

    Need help asking the most important women in your life to stand by your side on your wedding day?
    • I love you and I like you. ...
    • You're my best friend, there's no one else I'd rather stand beside me.
    • As the friend who will be in my life forever, will you help me marry your new best friend?

    How early is too early to ask your bridesmaids? ›

    How Soon is Too Soon? If you have a long engagement period, it's a good idea to wait until 8-12 months before the wedding. Unfortunately, how close you are to certain people can change. Surely you wouldn't want someone you feel you hardly know anymore at your bridal table instead of a new best friend.

    How many months in advance do you ask your bridesmaids? ›

    But one decision you should take a minute to make? Deciding on your bridesmaids and maid of honor. Selecting your bridesmaids is among the most important (and fun) elements of planning your wedding. The bridesmaid proposal should occur anywhere between a year to eight months before you walk down the aisle.

    Do you say thank you for being asked to be a bridesmaid? ›

    Call her up and tell her how honoured you are to be her bridesmaid, and how grateful you are for the proposal. You could also send a heartfelt note telling her how excited you are for the big day, and the journey to get there. If you have any concerns about your bridesmaid duties, now is the time to bring them up.

    Can you say no if someone asks you to be a bridesmaid? ›

    The short answer to this is yes. You can absolutely say no to being a bridesmaid, maid of honour, best man or any other wedding party role.

    Are bridesmaid proposals necessary? ›

    A bridesmaid proposal is like any other proposal: you are asking someone an important question in the hopes that they will say “YES!” A proposal holds a lot of meaning—it shows that you care about this person and want them involved in this momentous occasion.

    What do you ask bridesmaids to pay for? ›

    One thing bridesmaids and bridesmen usually pay for are their outfits—including dresses, tuxedos, suits, and shoes. "I would say it's most typical that the bridesmaids are asked to purchase their own dresses for the wedding; instruction on style, fit, and color is presented by the bride ahead of time," says Ritchie.

    Do you ask bridesmaids before save the dates? ›

    if they've been houding you then i say it's ok. If they haven't said anything then i wouldn't do it until you've set a date. It's hard to accept an invitation to something if you dont even know when it's happening.

    Who pays for the bridesmaids stuff? ›

    Most often, bridesmaids cover the cost of their dress and undergarments, shoes, accessories, and hair and makeup for the wedding day. The bride may opt to cover any of the aforementioned costs if she deems it appropriate.

    Who pays for bridesmaid party? ›

    The maid of honor and bridesmaids will typically split most of the expenses for a bachelorette party. This includes things like party favors, decorations, food, drinks, and any other necessities for the night.

    Who pays for bridesmaids to get their hair done? ›

    The Answer: It Depends

    There's no definitive answer of who foots the bill on bridal party glam. That said, the bride or the bridesmaids will pay for the bridal party's hair and makeup. Some brides cover the cost of glam as a “thank you” to their friends for supporting the wedding. However, this isn't always the case.

    Do you ask bridesmaids before or after engagement party? ›

    No matter what, wait 60 days following your engagement to put your proposals into action. Don't rush into asking your friends and family members to be in your bridal party.

    What is the rule of thumb for bridesmaids? ›

    One of the old mainstay conventions is to have the number of bridesmaids in accordance to how large your wedding is; one bridesmaid per 50 guests is one practical ratio. Another rule of thumb is to match the number of groomsmen that the groom will be having, but as always, these rules are flexible.

    How far in advance should you ask the groomsmen? ›

    Grooms should start planning on selecting, and proposing to, their wedding party about 8-10 months prior to the wedding. This gives your best man and groomsmen plenty of time to get everything in order for your big day, from making sure he has his suit to planning and booking your bachelor party.

    Do bridesmaids enter before or after the bride? ›

    Traditionally, the flower girl and page boys walk down the aisle first, scattering petals if they have them. Next the Bride and the Father of the Bride walk down the aisle. They are followed by the bridesmaids; the maid of honour or chief bridesmaid being the closest to the bride.

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